Her life here in Chicago so far has been anything but routine. I'm pretty certain that each day has been unique. It's difficult not to get annoyed with the detailed schedule inquiries. I just want her to trust that we'll tell her what she needs to know when she needs to know it.
One thing that has remained constant throughout our adoption process has been the magnifying glass that continues to hover over our family, the individuals in our family, exposing family systems, and for me as I continue to have a magnified view of the many ways I can relate to Irena's feelings (and the rest of our family too).
Though I may not use the same phrase or even say it out loud, I'm constantly asking, 'What's long time?' How long will the bonding take? How long will it take for you to trust me? How long will it take for ME to trust You? What will tomorrow be like? And the day after that? And the day after that? And I relate to the desire for control.
And isn't this the question we are constantly asking God? Regardless of our circumstances?
What's long time?
Sometimes we find out right away, while some questions are never answered, not directly anyway.
I do find comfort today though, knowing that regardless of the day, the time, the people, the schedule, the tears, the questions, the activites .... that God is sovereign over all of it!
This is God's promise to us, over and over again in His word. A few passages that assure me of this today ...
And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose.(Romans 8:28 ESV)
In him we have obtained an inheritance, having been predestined according to the purpose of him who works all things according to the counsel of his will,(Ephesians 1:11 ESV)
“Worthy are you, our Lord and God,to receive glory and honor and power,for you created all things,and by your will they existed and were created.”Revelation 4:11
